THOSE WHO MAY CARE October 9, 1997: They're Gay .. They're Funny

*************************************************************************** * Now that Ellen's out and large (not literally), good time for a * * hodge-podge of comic material from some relatively obscure comics who * * have been "out" for a few years (Source: New York Times [colorized]). * *************************************************************************** Los Angeles-based Robin Tyler, an openly lesbian comic since the 1970's: "If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. .. [Hello, can't work today. Still queer].'' Tom Ammiano, a San Francisco comic and politician: "Gay police -- They don't read you the Miranda rights; they read you the Carmen Miranda rights." Michael Dane, a comic from Los Angeles: "Labels can also be misleading. I saw a news report about a lesbian protest march, and the reporter said, [Coming up next, a lesbian demonstration.] My first thought was, [Cool. I always wondered how those things work]." New York-based Danny McWilliams, raised Catholic in Queens: "A nun told me I was going to receive my Confirmation, so I must choose a Confirmation name, and it must be the name of a saint. So I chose Eva Marie." Karen Ripley, a Berkeley, Calif.-based comic: "I came out to a straight friend and told her that I'm a lesbian. The first thing she said to me was: [Really? Do you know Jill McGee? She's a lesbian in Philadelphia!]" ... "Pardon me for laughing, but straight people are so funny! They think we all know each other! Actually, I do know her. But, hey, it's just a coincidence!" E.L. Greggory, a lesbian based in Los Angeles: " I do not care whether they allow gays in the military or not, because the whole idea of the military strikes me as completely absurd. I do not understand the desire to pick up a gun and go off and shoot strangers when there are so many loved ones I'd like to take a shot at first." Marilyn Pittman, a San Francisco comedian: "Yes, I was a teen-age lesbian. And while that may sound like a horror movie to some of you, for me I could subtitle that period of my life, 'Adventures in Paradise,' because there was one thing that we gay teen-agers could do that our straight friends couldn't. I could say, [Hey, Mom, Michelle's comin' over to spend the night Friday night, O.K.?] ... [O.K., Honey!]" Sabrina Matthews, who works the comedy-club circuit in San Francisco and elsewhere: "[Once] I was performing at a comedy club and when I said I'm a lesbian, a guy in the audience yelled out, [Can I watch?] I said, [Watch me what? Fix my car?]" Barry Steiger, who began a gay and lesbian comedy night at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles: "Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?" *************************************************************************** * Not necessarily gay .. yet, still funny, in an ironic sort of way * *************************************************************************** Ever since last year's court decision in Ontario permitting women to go shirtless (as long as not for sexual or commercial purposes), critics have been waiting for social turmoil. In one of the few reported incidents, former best friends, Heather Generaux, 24, and Jennifer Fitzgibbon, 23, brawled in Kingston in June when Fitzgibbon decided to sunbathe topless in her backyard, in view of Genereaux's 10-year-old-son. In the aftermath: Generaux suffered a black eye and Fitzgibbon lost her bikini bottom. Source: News of the Weird *************************************************************************** * MOO THINKS: ' |\___ ---___/| THOSE WHO MAY CARE * * ' \--/0 0 --/ * * "I used to believe in ' / \===================____ * * ghosts. I remember when ' | oo ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\ * * I was young my grandfather' \_/\_/\ \\ \\_ * * haunted our attic for ' '' | | ~~~\\ * * years. Later, my Mom told' \ _______ _ | {} * * me he was actually living ' || || \ /|| || * * up there. Wow!" ' || || ||| || || * * --Source Unknown ' || || ''' || || * * ' [] [] [] [] APOULOS * ***************************************************************************