THOSE WHO MAY CARE July 21, 1997: I'm Going Postal

************************************************************************** * The Latest Office Jargon (be cool, use it before the consultants do). * ************************************************************************** Beepilepsy: The brief seizure people have sometimes when their beepers go off (especially in vibrator mode). Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. Chainsaw consultant: Expert brought in from the outside to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube farm: An office filled with cubicles. Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out. Praerie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and everyone's head pops up over the walls to see what's going on. Salmon Day: When you spend the entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking him: he's 404." Source: Vancouver Sun/Utne Reader (Mix) ************************************************************************** * Dysfunctional Families? Anyone.. * ************************************************************************** Federica Perales, was arrested in Ft. Worth, TX, in April and charged w/ stabbing his wife to death in front of their two teenage kids because he was angry that the three of them started dinner before he arrived at the table. According to Perales' son, Perales' last words to his wife were, "You pushed me to the limits. You did this to yourself." In Woodbridge, VA, in January, a 35-year-old woman was charged w/ sexual abuse of her son, age 9, and according to police, she also arranged at least one sex instruction between herself, the son, her daughter, 15, and her boyfriend, 34. According to the boyfriend, she was motivated by wanting to spare her kids from having to learn about sex on the street. (FYI: A year ago, she became a grandmother as a result of the boyfriend- daughter liaison). Source: News of the Weird ************************************************************************** * It's all a matter of Perspective * ************************************************************************** 80 PERCENT PASS EXAM FOR GRADUATION - Headline in The Atlanta Journal, May 12 20 PERCENT FAIL EXAM FOR GRADUATION - Headline in The Atlanta Constitution, same day ************************************************************************** * MOO THINKS: ' |\___ ---___/| THOSE WHO MAY CARE * * ' \--/0 0 --/ * * "It would be great to ' / \===================____ * * have a computer built ' | oo ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\ * * into my skull. That way ' \_/\_/\ \\ \\_ * * I could surf the Net ' '' | | ~~~\\ * * during useless periods ' \ _______ _ | {} * * of life, such as when ' || || \ /|| || * * people talk to me." ' || || ||| || || * * --Scott Adams ' || || ''' || || * * [] [] [] [] APOULOS * **************************************************************************