THOSE WHO MAY CARE March 5, 1997: Dear Abby .. I May Not Have a Life

************************************************************************** * Once again, words escape me... * ************************************************************************** A show by feminist sculptor Louse Bourgeois in Toronto in May included a retrospective of her works featuring bizarre, severed penises and huge testicles hanging singly or in pairs or bunches, including "No Exit" (A stairway with two huge testicles restricting egress at the bottom) an "Untitled (With Foot,)" in which an innocent baby is crushed by a large pink testicle. Source: News of the Weird ************************************************************************** * These are actual out-takes from the Dear Abby column over the years. * ************************************************************************** DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese? CURIOUS DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his. DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy. DEAR ABBY: My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause. DEAR ABBY: I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting officer. DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for what he can get? GERTIE DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting? Source: Ginny, Ginny, "who else can we turn to?" ************************************************************************** * Tips for Teens * ************************************************************************** Once again, the British are all worked up, this time by the indelicate utterings of the magazines that their teenage daughters are reading. Along with the usual (fashion spreads, advice, etc.), the popular magazines now spout such salacious headlines as "Position for the Fortnight," "Horny Horoscopes," "Girls Who Sell Sex for Designer Clothes," and "Snogging Sir: I Can't Resist My Teach." Editors say they are just addressing what's already on the girls minds. Parents complain that their 10 to 15 year olds are being taught to be sex-crazed. As a compromise, some magazines now add an occasional warning about the dangers of underage sex and, er, snogging, to their pages. Source: Newsweek ************************************************************************** * MOO THINKS: ' |\___ ---___/| THOSE WHO MAY CARE * * ' \--/0 0 --/ * * "Outside of the killings,' / \===================____ * * Washington has one of ' | oo ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\ * * the lowest crime rates ' \_/\_/\ \\ \\_ * * in the country." ' '' | | ~~~\\ * * ' \ _______ _ | {} * * -DC Mayor Marion Barry ' || || \ /|| || * * ' || || ||| || || * * ' || || ''' || || * * ' [] [] [] [] APOULOS * **************************************************************************